Sunday, April 24, 2011

It's real

It took my hair falling out to make cancer real.  Ever since I was diagnosed a little over a month ago, it hasn't really seemed like I have cancer.  Even with all of the procedures I have gone through since then.  Even after having a port-o-cath inserted.  Even after two chemotherapy sessions.  Now that I face being bald, I realize that I really do have cancer.  I am finally scared.  I'm scared of what the next 4 or 5 months hold.  I am scared of more chemo treatments and the side effects that will accompany them.  I am scared of surgery and all that will entail.  I am scared of losing my hair.

I am, however, blessed with people who have gone before.  My medical team is incredible.  I have a colleague at work who is a 6 year survivor.  I know someone who has just finished going through chemo, surgery and radiation.  I have a HUGE support system.  People deal with this every day.  I am no different from them.  But, right now, I am scared. 

1 comment:

  1. I'm so glad you've decided to do this! Processing your feelings through writing them out will be a huge help as you continue through your journey. Lean into it my friend and know that we are with you every step of the way.

    Love you,