It took my hair falling out to make cancer real. Ever since I was diagnosed a little over a month ago, it hasn't really seemed like I have cancer. Even with all of the procedures I have gone through since then. Even after having a port-o-cath inserted. Even after two chemotherapy sessions. Now that I face being bald, I realize that I really do have cancer. I am finally scared. I'm scared of what the next 4 or 5 months hold. I am scared of more chemo treatments and the side effects that will accompany them. I am scared of surgery and all that will entail. I am scared of losing my hair.
I am, however, blessed with people who have gone before. My medical team is incredible. I have a colleague at work who is a 6 year survivor. I know someone who has just finished going through chemo, surgery and radiation. I have a HUGE support system. People deal with this every day. I am no different from them. But, right now, I am scared.